I've Made My Bed...Now What?

I'm calling Eric tonight. I'm leading him on. I wish I could just tell him how I really feel, how I don't know my feelings for him and that I just need time. But time is the one thing I don't have. I wish I could have all the time in the world, but unfortunately this fall he'll be leaving for college in Oregon, 3000 miles away from me. I'm scared to get into any sort of 'thing' with him because I know that if I end up falling in love with me, that I will only end up heartbroken. Long distance relationships never work, especially with a girl like me, and a guy like him. He likes to party, I like to party, he's starting his freshman year of college, that means experimentation, frat parties, meeting new people. I'm starting my junior year of high school, that means finding a prom date, possibly meeting new people, and getting closer to those who I've slowly been getting to know through new classes and what not. I can't see myself being happy with Eric, and as selfish and sad as that may sound, I know that I can't force myself to love someone when I don't. I can't hurt him, I want to be friends with him forever. I want to be able to look back on high school and college and remember him, and possibly even be friends with him when I'm 30. I want to be there for him when he has girl troubles, or when he has family issues. I like him so much, and I care about him so much that I just can't fall for him. It's definitely the toughest decision I've had to make in a while, but I've finally made it. Now I just need to figure out how to tell him...